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Why Judgment is Toxic with Julie Reisler
Welcome to the U S.
I'm your host.
And today, you and me and my friend and my dear Kitty Luna is going to We're going to be hanging together,
having a virtual cafe coffee shot about judgment.
We're gonna be talking about judgment and how it can really thwart being in your own lane in listening and following your heart and staying true to yourself the dangers of judgment.
I have been seeing this really come up for myself with many of my clients.
So we're going to talk about judgment, the land of judgment, how to get out of it, how to how to spot it.
Um, and then the elixir, which is forgiveness, compassion and what I've been practicing that has been very,
So I am hoping that this episode with you and your you and me with yours truly is going to be really empowering.
And, as always, is so appreciate after you Listen, if you have any feedback or comments,
you choose to review this podcast.
But just to let me know.
How is this landing for you? Is this resonating? How are you applying what you are learning because I really do believe we are all here to uplift one another.
And so just sharing really vulnerably what has been going on in my life around this whole area of judgment.
So I'm guessing like me being another human right on the planet, working through life and trying to live your best life.
One of the things that I've noticed and this came up recently I, as many of you know,
have over almost 20 years of recovery, um, from food addiction.
It doesn't mean that that that desire to use food and other ways of distracting myself or not dealing with feelings doesn't come up.
It just means that I've had a lot of time where I know that it's possible for these behaviors and addictive thought patterns to change.
And I know one of the most powerful ways to be with myself when I am struggling with food or with, you know, it could be feeling areas of you not overwhelmed or not good enough.
One of the most important things that I have found is to really pause,
as Tara Brock said when I interviewed her, and she teaches this as well that sacred pause.
Um, so, you know, recently I had struggled with I'm working on healing my thyroid and my gut health and just putting a lot of energy into being loving to my body, nourishing myself.
And I share this because you might be able to identify Part of what I've noticed is in that lane of doing and overachieving.
Oftentimes I can go really fast, and that translates to eating fast and doing everything quickly.
And I'm realizing my body, You know, if you're like me empath, highly sensitive, intuitive, I need things to be slower.
Time to digest, time to digest my food, my thoughts,
Um, and so that's been a big A big shift for me has been slowing down, especially during this pandemic time.
So recently I was really up against some some feelings that I wasn't comfortable with.
Just a lot of anxiety,
especially, you know, in the world, in some of my family, I know my mom struggles being alone and feeling anxious, and it's just I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed, and the first thought was to eat something and,
you know, for me when that comes up, I know.
Okay, something's going on, and I decided I'm going to go do what? In many, if you've ever done any kind of support system or 12 steps, there is a 12 steps in the fourth.
One is an inventory.
You do an inventory of your resentments, your fears, your all those feelings that for me were really yucky and I didn't want to look at, and I just I heard my inner wisdom say,
Okay, you've been working the first few steps.
It's time to go back to that fourth step.
So I've been starting that, Really looking at where have I been resentful? Where have I been frustrated or overwhelmed or angry?
Where have I not let myself even say that I'm upset? Because, you know, I know many of us I am included often have both that wanting to be empathetic and understand how it helped.
Maybe that situation happened that I'm upset about,
but not letting myself feel it.
And so what I noticed is I started writing these frustrations, these feelings I had with different situations, with people with experiences that really I was judging my feelings.
I was judging that I had resentments in somewhere.
I don't know where I picked this up? I had this.
I've had this belief that I shouldn't have these feelings.
I shouldn't be frustrated or upset.
Overwhelmed that at this point, with all of the work,
I've done it myself.
I shouldn't have those.
And that is faulty.
And I want to say this because I had a lot of beautiful guests on here.
You probably listened to many other shows, not just mine.
Where we talk about living your best life, focusing on the positive, you know, really getting an alignment with your heart and all of that is true.
And what we don't want to do is bypass the feelings that we don't like as much.
Now I could get an A plus in bypassing those feelings.
That's where my overeating and addiction came into play.
I didn't want to feel those things I didn't want to deal with.
You know, having a father with PTSD and bipolar and depression and really taking in that energy.
I didn't want to deal with that or the financial struggles that I grew up with with him.
Or, you know, all of the other stories I could tell you many, many others I didn't want to deal with that, so I just blocked it.
But what I've learned, thankfully,
over the years, one moment, one breath, one day at a time is those feelings are needed to be looked at and revealed to heal.
So one of the things I noticed when I was doing my resentment list was, Oh,
my gosh, I'm judging myself.
I'm judging myself.
And then I I said I stopped and I said, Okay, wait a minute.
How you do? One thing is how you do everything.
That's my belief.
So I thought, Where else am I judging myself? And I realized, you guys, my friends, my soul family.
Holy crap, I'm judging so much.
You know how I did my last podcast interview.
I'm judging how I emailed that person back like it is that judge or is out and about,
like this mean kind of critical, very left brain, like we've got to have this sound perfect.
It's just I've kind of gotten the sense of her.
She's almost almost got like, an avatar now for my judge,
er, and she's not very nice and it's not helpful.
And what happens is and I just encourage you to think about your own judge.
Er that part of you that judges the judges Maybe that you feel lonely or sad or anxious or frustrated or judging if you're still single or, you know,
if you ate something that you wish you had it or whatever it might be And here's the thing.
And I'm not at all an expert in the course of miracles, not even a little.
Although I am bringing an expert in,
um uh, Aaron APC is gonna be joining us and you'll get to hear an incredible interview about the course in miracles, the law of one.
But the thing I know what the course in miracles, it talks all about judgment.
Judgment completely clouds our entire perception.
Perception is everything.
Miracles can be defined as a shift in perspective.
So when you and I get in the lane of judgment, we get out of the lane of connecting to our higher self and heart.
It's also wrapped into the ego, and I love this acronym.
I've been using this for many years.
Ego can be thought of as edging god or great spirit or goddess out edging God out and for me it's edging that great spirit, that higher self that I'm edging that out.
When I get into ego, which is connected to judgment, we often don't think about that.
So for me, it was really like a very small shift.
But I started to just gave myself permission, and I'm inviting you to do the same to do a little inventory.
Where are you judging yourself? Where are you judging yourself? Are you allowing yourself to have all the range of feelings? You know Glennon Doyle gets into this beautifully, as does burn a brown Glennon talks in her book of untamed about each.
The gift of each emotion is like getting your Amazon package on your front door.
Um, you know Bernie Brown talks about being vulnerable and how when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, then you are able to experience life in full color.
So you know, this is really important, and it starts with ending judgment, and it's got to be a conscious decision.
It's got to be a I've decided I'm going to look at the judgment, and I'm going to make sure that I am not letting that cloud the way to get in the way.
So number one is really doing an inventory.
Where are you judging yourself? Write it down and then I would recommend making your own inventory.
Where are the feelings that you have not allowed yourself to feel? And can you list those you know you could be?
I am resentful.
I am angry.
I am, you know, feeling sad about and just list it list with whom? The people that places the things, do your own little inventory and then give yourself permission to just feel that right.
Because what comes next is the ability to really look at that from a space of curiosity and non judgment and then to ask ourselves for forgiveness to ask for forgiveness.
Hey, can I forgive myself for judging me? Can I forgive myself for being judgmental? Can I forgive myself for holding on to that resentment? And then we extrapolate, Can I forgive that person?
It doesn't mean you don't forget.
Um, you know, I had a situation in college, not the best situation with someone that I had quite sedated, and I've forgiven him.
It was not my favorite experience in my life,
but I've forgiven him, right? And I forgive myself for putting myself in that situation.
So really looking at, Can you forgive yourself? It starts there.
I also like to invoke the divine presence when I do this higher power,
whatever you might call it, something greater than just you.
You could think of it as your connection to the divine great spirit by yourself, bringing in that aspect of divine connection and saying, like for me,
it's, Hey, I can't do this myself.
Please guide me.
Help me to be free of judgment and to forgive because, my friends, this is so important.
What follows? Seeing the judgment really being with it,
letting go of judgment, stepping into forgiveness.
What follows is freedom.
It's the ability to stand in that space of ease and grace and peace with yourself.
it invokes more compassion and invokes more empathy.
And frankly, I really believe the whole the whole ability to have unconditional love is wrapped into this non judgment, this forgiveness and this feeling of being fully self expressed and free.
And so I really you know, for me, one of the most important things to me is to be able to be a nonjudgmental, unconditionally loving presence in the world and to help others if it's you or others to really step into your fully self expressed light and and hearts calling, Um,
and it's important.
The other piece, I'll add, is sharing along the way, sharing your struggles, sharing your journey.
Many of you I know have written in, and I've talked about wanting to write a book,
wanting to share your story, your memoir.
And the way I see it is if you have that desire, there is an equal need on the other side of those that would love to read and to hear how you are moving through life honestly, authentically,
It's so important.
And now, even more than ever, while we are still in this space of being less connected physically, you know, being in that in that deeper connection and community and sharing is really important is actually being of service.
and so I encourage you, you know, whether it's a blog or article or an email newsletter to friends and family or, you know, just creating even It's a conversation or alive that you do through Facebook or Instagram or just kind of video in yourself and sharing with those who loved.
this is what I'm going through.
This is how I'm moving through it.
This is what I'm noticing.
These are the lessons of the pandemic.
These are the lessons of these last few years.
This is how I'm letting go of judgment.
This is how I've been judgmental.
So when we are in judgment of ourselves, we are in judgment of others and truly, you know, I always say I have enough.
Enough going on within myself for the rest of my life.
I don't need to judge anybody else.
I don't know what it's like.
I'm just I'm still in the learning, mastering my own inner self in land of emotions.
So, you know,
we want to This is so important.
The more you can find on judgment for yourself, the more you can find that for others and hold the space.
And I got to say, you know,
this is probably one of the more challenging areas of life to work through.
What? It's probably one of the most rewarding, and, um, I just grateful to be here with you.
I hope that was helpful.
I hope that gave you some some food for thought and ways to really stop the judgment.
And to stop doing that to yourself.
Um, you know, when we do that, we also dig up the past and we take ourselves out of the gift of right now and the present.
The truth is that your future, it doesn't have to hold any of the remnants from the past.
It really doesn't.
It can be co created with your higher self with the divine.
But it starts with getting focus present right now and being with whatever is going on,
letting go of judgment, forgiving yourself and then creating from a space of heart and what's possible.
So with that, I am so grateful and honored for each of you.
Um and just thank you for being part of this beautiful community.
Please let me know if you had any deeper insights, how you're going to be doing your judgment inventory and hopefully really getting to step into your full self expression and to forgive yourself and to really share your story and share your light.
We certainly need that on this planet and together we can lift our own inner consciousness.
And then as you and I do that we get to do that for the world, for community and for humanity.
So with that so much love, I just very honored to be part of your life.
And you're listening.
And I believe in you.
And, uh, I'll just end with Nama.
Stay the divine and I really honors and sees the divine in you much love my soul family.
Mhm, my friend.
I am so grateful that you are part of this powerful community.
I thank you for listening to this episode, and I hope it inspires you to remember who you really are and who you chose to be in this lifetime.
I created this podcast from my own heart's desire to amplify the vibration of compassion, kindness,
abundance, part magic and so much more both within you and the collective.
I'm honored to be your host, your friend and your companion in this life journey and I love feedback.
Let me know what you loved.
What would you love more of? Or what would you love to see covered on the show? And if you feel moved, please subscribe rate and review the Usu podcast so that we can continue to shift the way humanity operates and shape this gorgeous collective community with the deepest love, admiration and respect for your usu until next time mhm.
Julie Reisler is a master Life Designer® coach with over ten years of coaching experience and a master’s degree in health & wellness coaching. Julie is the host and founder of the You-est You® Podcast, with over 230+ episodes and is the founder of the School of Sacredology, a big-hearted community for individuals looking to live from their heart and soul, and go from fear to faith. Julie has been featured in Forbes magazine, MindBodyGreen, The Chopra Center and Thrive Global. She is also a prominent teacher and guide on the popular app, Insight Timer and is on the faculty at Georgetown University in their coaching program. To learn more about Julie and how she might support you on your You-est You journey, go to juliereisler.com.
Happy March dearest soul family! This solo episode was recorded with lots of heart and the intention of helping you to better understand the toxic effects of judgment and the healing elixir of forgiveness and connection. Really this is about how to stop judging yourself (you know who you are) and giving yourself the grace and space to be on the human journey here to learn and grow from all experiences. If you prefer a visual version, do check my episode out on YouTube, where all episodes are posted.)
The Surprising Effects of Judgment
*Judgment is one of the most toxic chemicals. Take time for a sacred pause to feel to heal, and let go of judgment of yourself.
* Share authentically with someone you trust whatever is most uncomfortable. Don’t let judgment of yourself get in the way.
* Doing an inventory of stored up feelings like anger, resentment and frustration is an excellent way to give space to what’s going on below the surface. The important part is not to judge yourself or any feeling that emerges. All is well.
* The healing will happen in your feeling and in revealing how you feel.
*The ego lives in fear and judgment. You and I are either in fear or love.
* The acronyms to remember: EGO (Edging God Out) and FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)
The Power of Forgiveness
* We are all made of energy. Unexpressed emotions remain as stored up energy in your cells and can lead to deeper frustration, resentment, stress, despair and even illness.
* Forgiveness, first for yourself, and then for others, is a powerful way to change your own internal energy.
* Look for the bigger picture and a wider lens of whatever is needing your forgiveness. Imagine your listening to a friend tell you what you are working on forgiving yourself for. Extend the same grace you’d give a friend, to yourself.
* Warning: The act of forgiving yourself (and others) will change your life.
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Join host Julie Reisler, author and multi-time TEDx speaker, each week to learn how you can tap into your best self and become your You-est You® to achieve inner peace, happiness and success at a deeper level! Tune in to hear powerful, inspirational stories and expert insights from entrepreneurs, industry thought leaders, and extraordinary human beings that will help to transform your life. Julie also shares a-ha moments that have shaped her life and career, and discusses key concepts from her book Get a PhD in YOU
Here’s to your being your you-est you!
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