How to Embrace Your Ego as an Empath with Julie Reisler

Meet Julie Reisler

Julie Reisler is a master transformational coach with over ten years of coaching experience and a master’s degree in health & wellness coaching. Julie is the founder of the Life Designer Coach Academy, a coach mastery training certification program, host and founder of the You-est You Podcast, with close to 300 episodes, and author of Get a PhD in YOU. Julie has been featured in Forbes magazine, MindBodyGreen, The Chopra Center, and Thrive Global. She is also a prominent teacher, course creator, and guide on the popular app Insight Timer and is on the faculty at Georgetown University in their coaching program. Julie lives in the Washington, DC area with her blended family of 3 kids and her favorite sweet furball, Luna. To learn more about Julie and how she might support you on your You-est You journey, go to juliereisler.com. 

Wishing you, big-hearted friend, a most blessed new year and powerful 2022! Today, I am sharing some powerful insights about managing your energy and manifesting your best life after reading two of my new favorite books. If you identify as an empath or highly sensitive person, which means someone who is very in tune with others’ emotions and even feeling their emotions as yours, and/or as highly sensitive, this episode is a must-listen for you. I redefine the way to look at your ego, how it’s crucial to stop shaming, blaming, and being at war with yourself, and the importance of developing strong boundaries and your individual identity. 

Redefining Your Relationship To Your Ego

This might surprise you, but most empaths are naturally and incredibly tuned in to a higher consciousness and sense of unity with others but often lack an individuated sense of self. In reading Anita Moorjani’s amazing book, Sensitive Is the New Strong: The Power of Empaths in an Increasingly Harsh World; she gives the example of picturing volume knobs that you might find on an old fashioned radio. For empaths and highly sensitive persons (hi, I see you!), your knob will automatically be turned way up in the high consciousness and connectedness category, but what is probably turned way too low or even off is your ego knob. I shared how impactful this distinction is since so much of my own learning and experience with spiritual teachers has been to negate, override, let go of or shame your ego into existence. The truth is that when you look at the definition of ego, which is “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance,” it takes on a different meaning than we are often taught. In fact, it’s crucial to have a sense of self and importance to stand powerfully and firmly in your own ideals, boundaries, values, and experience of self. I’ve found that as an empath, it’s easy to get caught up in someone else’s emotions, so much so that in the past, I would have a hard time distinguishing myself from the other person. I sense you’re in a similar boat, and for you, this idea of connecting more deeply to your individuated idea of self, your ego, is a must and shouldn’t be shamed or feared. I’m not talking about those who are egocentric, egomaniacs, or narcissists. Which would mean the dial is turned all the way up on the ego and down on conscious connection. Anita shares that you want both dials turned up and with a strong sense of self to honor your boundaries and what works for your energy and life. Let me know what you think of this and how redefining your relationship with your ego is helping you to feel more loving to yourself and others.

The Power of Boundaries for Empaths

As an empath or highly sensitive person, it is imperative to know your boundaries and know how to effectively and kindly communicate when they’ve been crossed. This can be challenging for anyone who self-identifies as a people pleaser or is uncomfortable with conflict. I shared a few ways to use language that is direct yet still kind to express your boundary and feelings. For example, if a family member strongly suggests changing your plans to make an event yet it is not comfortable or ideal for you to attend, it’s helpful to have ways of sharing your appreciation for their thoughtfulness and to kindly decline. You might say something like, ‘I really appreciate your invite and wanting me there, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work for me to attend.’ I have seen how the power of coaching can help with finding ways to speak directly and with integrity as well as coming up with new questions you can ask yourself to know your own boundaries better. The more you practice setting and keeping boundaries, the easier it becomes, and just like strengthening a muscle, you will soon have a strong boundary muscle to lean on. Boundaries are also highly important for managing your energy and cultivating a healthy sense of self.

You Are Golden with Goodness

In Tara Brach’s new book, Trusting the Gold: Learning to Nurture Your Inner Light, she reminds us that inherently we are all made of the same goodness and that it’s important to learn how to trust this inner light and goodness from within. This is the year to be kinder to yourself and speak to yourself with compassion, grace, and loving-kindness. Just as Tara shared about her practice of reminding herself to ‘soften the edge’, which helped her heal from an illness with ease, you also can speak to yourself in a way that can create calm, tenderness, and support. Maybe you start to call yourself something loving like ‘sweetheart’, ‘darling’ or ‘beautiful’. Choose something that feels kind and comforting, and remember to see the goodness that always lives within you.

Three Ways To Ground and Manage Your Energy

Start noticing and tracking what helps you to feel enlivened, recharged, and in your own energy field. Keep a list and return back to these practices when you’re feeling tired, low on steam and energy. As empaths, it’s incredibly important to recharge your batteries and energy. Here are three ways that work for many empaths: 1. Take a bath, get into a pool, ocean, or lake. Getting into water can help to calm your nervous system 2. Take a walk outside to connect with the oneness of the plants, trees, animals and nature, and to get more vitamin D. 3. Spend time being quiet through meditation, journaling, drawing in a color book, using your rosary or mala beads, or lying still with your hand on your heart and breathing slowly and with intention.  

Looking To Help Other Empaths Design Their Best Life?

If you are feeling a strong urge to help other big-hearted empaths get unstuck and design their best life, you’ve got to check out my Life Designer Coach Academy. It is a world-class, four-month virtual live coach certification program that will give you the proven tools, techniques, practices, and methodology to be a powerful coach. This coaching program is for aspiring and current coaches looking to fill in the missing pieces and gain confidence and mastery both in the coaching core competencies. It will also expand your integrative health modalities from a mind-body science, positive psychology, and healing arts perspective. The next Cohort begins 2/2/22 and has limited spaces available. To learn more about the Life Designer Coach Academy, go to juliereisler.com/certification.  

Interested in Becoming a Certified Life Coach?

If you are looking to add more purpose to your life and help others to get unstuck and see their greatness, you would love being a life coach. I invite you to check out my life coach mastery program. The Life Designer Coach Academy certification program is for both aspiring and current coaches who are eager to learn the core competencies of coaching as well as the mind-body science, positive psychology and healing arts that will give you the proven tools to make real change in your life and the lives of others. This is a premier four-month virtual live coach certification program that has certified students from around the world. As an expert life coach, Julie has a master’s degree in Health & Wellness coaching, is a board-certified coach and on the faculty at Georgetown University in their coach program, and has over a decade of experience coaching hundreds of leaders, executives, corporate moms, and creatives to design and live their best life. To learn more, go to juliereisler.com/certification

Sacred Connection

As always, this community is a sacred, safe place built on love and acceptance. It was created to help you evolve and expand into your highest self. Please share your wisdom, comments, thoughts. I love hearing from you and learning how you are being your truest, you-est you. Please join us in our Facebook group The You-est You Community for Soul Seekers

Join host Julie Reisler, author and multi-time TEDx speaker, each week to learn how you can tap into your best self and become your You-est You to achieve inner peace, happiness, and success at a deeper level! Tune in to hear powerful, inspirational stories and expert insights from entrepreneurs, industry thought leaders, and extraordinary human beings that will help to transform your life. Julie also shares a-ha moments that have shaped her life and career and discusses key concepts from her book Get a PhD in YOU

Here’s to your being your you-est you!

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